Monday, January 12, 2009

I'm just not feeling like it today....


I was feeling low this morning about my employment situation and to combat it I applied for two jobs. Felt better until a few minutes ago when Steve called to say his brother had been laid off from Denver University after many many years of work and being the head of the department. He has been given a six month severence package and lives in a good job market so I am confident this set back will be temporary for him. No, I got low again because Steve was so mad it happened to his brother and kind of made me feel like he was more upset for him than for my situation. I don't know how to explain it -- like it was my fault for being let go and for some reason I'm just not making the grade in finding another job. I'm being silly, but I wanted him to care more for me. Maybe he does and just hasn't articulated it. I don't know. So I'm feeling like a failure again. It will pass.

Walked Tug today. He rewarded my being nice to him and letting off leash a little sooner by running after a rabbit and not coming back. So when I did get him back, he was on a short leash the rest of the walk and we went directly home - no extended walk today. He's napping in a sunbeam now.

I didn't go to the funeral this morning because it had snowed and the streets were a little dicey until it warmed up and the funeral was way out in the Heights and I was feeling down and knew a funeral wouldn't help. I'll send Linda a sympathy card; she wouldn't be in a position to process what's happening much today so I doubt whether I was there or not mattered.
So just plugging along. Do some reading, make dinner, start another day. :)
Much love,
PK the Bookeemonster

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