'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America

Written by Liza Long, republished from The Blue Review

Friday’s horrific national tragedy -- the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut -- has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

While every family's story of mental illness is different, and we may never know the whole of the Lanza's story, tales like this one need to be heard -- and families who live them deserve our help.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan -- they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”

“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.

“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we are going,” I replied.

“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.

The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork -- “Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…”

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying -- that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”
And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense
.
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”

I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise -- in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill -- Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011.

No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

Recently Defeated Connecticut Mental Health Bill May Have Stopped Friday's Shooter

A troubling revelation has broken regarding a mental health bill recently defeated in Connecticut during this calendar year. Had it passed, that bill could have possibly taken Adam Lanza off the streets so he would not have been free to commit his heinous act on December 14.

In February 2012, Connecticut Senate Bill 452 (SB452) was put forward to remedy the fact that Connecticut was one of less than ten states in the U.S. to lack an "assisted outpatient treatment" (AOT) law.
But the bill was passed to Connecticut's Joint Committee on Judiciary in March, where it quietly faded away because of opposition by those who viewed it as "egregious" and "outrageously discriminatory."

Had this law passed, it may have forced Adam Lanza to be treated for his alleged mental illness instead of allowing him to roam free, and ultimately to kill 26 persons and himself in a vindictive rage on Friday.

Although there is some variation, the way these laws work in other states is simple: AOT laws preempt older statutes that only allow the mentally ill to be forcibly institutionalized for treatment if they've done harm to themselves or others. This is possible because AOT laws allow a state to institutionalize a mentally ill person for treatment if the state has reason to suspect such institutionalization will prevent the individual from doing harm to self or others.

Why didn't the legislation pass? Because the ACLU and other "civil liberties" groups and individuals cried foul. The ACLU in particular said 452 would "infringe on patients' privacy rights by expanding [the circle of] who can medicate individuals without their consent." They also said it infringed on patient rights by reducing the number of doctors' opinions necessary to commit someone to institutionalization.

To be clear, no one can know that the passage of SB452 would have stopped Lanza for sure, as there's no guarantee a doctor or mental specialist would have seen the warning signs in time to institutionalize him for treatment.

However, it is worth noting that proponents of SB452 had the prevention of situations like Friday's shooting in mind when they tried to provide Connecticut residents with another layer of protection from the mentally ill (and criminal).

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/12/16/Recently-Defeated-Connecticut-Mental-Health-Bill-May-Have-Stopped-Friday-s-Shooter

Media Blackout: Clackamas man, armed, confronts mall shooter

Nick Meli is emotionally drained. The 22-year-old was at Clackamas Town Center with a friend and her baby when a masked man opened fire.

"I heard three shots and turned and looked at Casey and said, 'are you serious?,'" he said.

The friend and baby hit the floor. Meli, who has a concealed carry permit, positioned himself behind a pillar.
"He was working on his rifle," said Meli. "He kept pulling the charging handle and hitting the side."

The break in gunfire allowed Meli to pull out his own gun, but he never took his eyes off the shooter.

"As I was going down to pull, I saw someone in the back of the Charlotte move, and I knew if I fired and missed, I could hit them," he said.

Meli took cover inside a nearby store. He never pulled the trigger. He stands by that decision.

"I'm not beating myself up cause I didn't shoot him," said Meli. "I know after he saw me, I think the last shot he fired was the one he used on himself."

The gunman was dead, but not before taking two innocent lives with him and taking the innocence of everyone else.

"I don't ever want to see anyone that way ever," said Meli. "It just bothers me.

http://www.kgw.com/news/Clackamas-man-armed-confronts-mall-shooter-183593571.html

Sanitizing Adam Lanza

Amid all its political correctness and ideological distortion, one thing often overlooked concerning the mainstream media is its essential strangeness, its near-total separation from any behavior, attitudes, or ideas that could be defined as "normal".

We find yet another example of this in the treatment of Adam Lanza, the Newtown CT shooter. A photograph released by the wire services reveals a delicate-looking kid with a shy smile and a goofy haircut.

The standard reader's reaction would amount to a shake of the head and a "what could have made such a nice kid do it?"

But there's another photo extant as well, one that has not seen such wide circulation:

Apart from the fact that it would scare the hell out of Hannibal Lector, this shot leaves no doubt as to "why he did it": because he was as crazy as they come.

This stratagem involving photographs immediately calls to mind the Zimmerman shooting, when the media released, and heavily played up, photos showing Trayvon Martin as a sweet-faced twelve-year-old rather than the hulking seventeen-year-old tough faced by George Zimmerman.

Given the leftist slant of the media, using that shot made sense. The media circus surrounding that shooting was intended to create a racial incident, to keep the pot boiling in light of the upcoming electoral campaign. That photo did its work well -- most people still picture Trayvon Martin as the innocent twelve-year-old as opposed to the drug-addled teen he became.

But what are we to make of this Lanza photo? What is the thinking here? Why the effort to clean up the image of a murderer who killed twenty children and seven adults? Is the media so estranged from commonplace reality that they automatically reach for the cheapest, most sentimental interpretation of an event as a matter of instinct? Or is it yet another case of ideological subterfuge, an effort to deny the shooter any form of agency, instead transferring responsibility to the demonic weapon he used? To transform him into simply another victim, driven to his crime by a force beyond his control?

Whatever the case, the end result is to rob the incident of its actual meaning: the fact that a maniac shot a group of innocents for no other reason than pure spite.

Establishment journalism is so removed from normality that nothing whatsoever can be expected from it. There are many reasons to despise the current American media.

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/12/amid_all_its_political_correctness.html#ixzz2FGQwPBJY

A Needless, Senseless, Tragedy

Some have used this tragedy as an opportunity to vilify our "gun culture" and predictably, right up to the President, have said we need "meaningful action", by which of course he means more gun control. But guns are not the problem here.

Throughout the last century, up until the gun control act of 1968, there were few restrictions on gun ownership, save the heavy regulation of automatic weapons. A kid could order a rifle through the mail. There were no Columbines, no Virginia Techs', no Auroras, no Newtowns. There were many people with mental illnesses, ADD, Asperger's, autism and other problems, although perhaps they went by different names. But these kinds of things just did not happen.

What changed? What changed is that our society became unhinged from its bedrock belief in God. In earlier times, churches were filled on Sundays and people generally conformed to a code of decency and behavior accepted throughout society. We swore less, raged less, dressed more modestly, frowned upon braggarts and liars, respected authority and approached life with a modesty and humility borne both of hard experience and religious training.

Of course there were exceptions, but for all our collective failings as human beings, we took our religions and our religious beliefs seriously. Organized religion, especially Christianity, demands a level of decency, modesty and humility that is largely missing in today's distracted, self-absorbed, ego-driven, anything-goes culture. And we are reaping the rewards.

Back in the 1920s, a group of German Communists started the Institute for Social Research in Frankfurt, Germany. It would become known as simply the Frankfurt School. Its goal was to implement communism in the West quietly by gradually subverting popular culture -- a movement known as Cultural Marxism.

Early on, these people recognized that Christianity was the single greatest impediment to the advancement of communism in the West and they set out to destroy it by every means possible. Soviet propagandist and organizer Willi Munzenberg articulated the school's goals:

We will make the West so corrupt it stinks... [We will] organise the intellectuals and use them to make Western civilisation stink [sic]. Only then, after they have corrupted all its values and made life impossible, can we impose the dictatorship of the proletariat.

Today their goal has been largely accomplished. We have been lured away from the moral anchors of our Judeo/Christian heritage, and the result is visible all around us: broken homes, endemic divorce, unwed mothers, convenience abortions, crime, drug and alcohol abuse, increasingly toxic sexual licentiousness - which brought us AIDS, among other things - and an increasingly ignorant class of people, so self-absorbed and unaware, they can't even name our Capital.

Our culture is indeed becoming so corrupt it stinks, and it is not surprising that evil now finds such an easy home here. Gun control will not cure this. Stricter laws will not cure this. Stricter enforcement may not even cure this. The only cure is a healthy society, a humble society; a society whose strong Christian heritage used to make it uncool to feed off others, uncool to boast, uncool to have a self-serving attitude; uncool to ignore the Golden Rule.

This is nothing new. The pattern has been repeated since the days of antiquity. When a society finds and abides in God, health, peace and affluence follow; when it forgets God, disaster is not far behind.
We as a nation have forgotten God.

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/12/needless_senseless_tragedy.html#ixzz2FGRzVGhp

School Shootings and Sacred Authority

The tragic shooting at the grade school in Newton, Conn. will result in calls for gun control, tighter security, guards in schools, new laws that some think might have prevented the shooting, more money for mental health programs, post-traumatic stress counseling, and other things. Yet these are only band-aids which do not address the basic cause of this tragedy. There is one cause and one practical solution.

Cause: The decline in Sacred Authority since the 1950s and the attempt to rely on rules, regulations, and laws to control behavior. Everyone agrees that this has occurred, yet there is no agreement on whether it is positive (progress) or negative (decline).

Solution: To put more effort into developing, supporting, and maintaining Sacred Authority. Note that this runs counter to what postmodernists (progressives) want.

The culture of the United States has dramatically changed in the last fifty years. Many of these changes have been positive, yet we need to recognize that there is also a dark side. As it all human affairs there is a need to keep Yin and Yang in balance. The senseless killing in Newton should be a wakeup call for all Americans. The correct relationship of Secular Authority and Sacred Authority needs to be examined.

Secular Authority (rules, regulations, and laws established and administered by government) provides the stability essential for a framework of order. Without the enforcement of laws, there is anarchy. With such enforcement of laws there can be either order or the possibility of tyranny.

Sacred Authority is what shapes the inner compass of individuals so that each person can make judgments that will result in good, right, moral, compassionate, and just behavior. While religious doctrine and teaching are among the most common ways for individuals to internalize values and attitudes, which then become the Sacred Authority of an individual, there are many other ways an individual gets his/her inner compass.

Morality and ethics are obvious ways. An individual's inner compass can come from words and actions of family, friends, enemies, associates, etc. It can come from education, entertainment, sports, reading, or experience. Postmodernists (progressives) want to control behavior with rules, regulations and laws, i.e. Secular Authority, and do not recognize Sacred Authority as being of equal importance.

Developing, supporting, and maintaining Sacred Authority requires customs and traditions that sanction discrimination against behavior that is bad, wrong, immoral, untoward, and unjust. This is both judgmental and runs counter to many interpretations of the legal concept of "rights".

One definition of the word "sacred" is: "devoted or dedicated to a deity or to some religious purpose." This often results in misunderstanding the meaning of Sacred Authority. "Sacred" also means: "devoted or dedicated to, and reverence for some idea, conviction, principal or moral code." This has always been the meaning of the word "sacred" ias regards Sacred Authority. It is reflected in the customs and traditions of humans in that they are more than animals responding to basic instincts and external stimuli.

Today we are dominated by a mindset that sees everything in terms of Secular Authority. There is no mantra more accepted than "Rule of law, not rule by men". Yet this was not the vision of our Founders. They wanted our country to be governed by common citizens with civic virtue and strong moral character. The question they wanted to be asked before any decision was: "Is it right?" -- Not "Is it legal?", not "Who gets what, when and how?", not "Does it make me feel good?"

The failure of pure Secular Authority could not be more obvious. Will we do what is necessary to renew Sacred Authority in our country?

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/12/school_shootings_and_sacred_authority.html#ixzz2FGSl0Tui

You Can Use the ‘N’ Word if You’re Artistic and a Comedian

It seems that everything is about race. Comedic actor Jamie Foxx said as much. The “Django Unchained” star said, “every single thing in my life is built around race.” On one level I can understand what Foxx is saying. Blacks have been treated terribly in America. To this day, there is racial bigotry and prejudging.
Blacks wear their blackness because their skin is black. There’s no getting around it.

“As black folks we’re always sensitive,” Foxx said. “As a black person it’s always racial. I come into this place to do a photo shoot and they got Ritz crackers and cheese — I’ll be like, ain’t this a b—-. Y’all didn’t know black people was coming. What’s with all this white s—? By the same token, if there is fried chicken and watermelon I’ll say ain’t this a b—-? So, no matter what we do as black people it’s always gonna be that. Every single thing in my life is built around race. I don’t necessarily speak it because you can’t.”
Understanding how blacks think is important. Understanding the long history of black struggle is also important. No white person can understand it. Jews can, but for different reasons.

Having said this, whites seem to get dumped on by some blacks because whites are white.

There are tens of millions of white people who want to understand, who want to do the right thing. But it seems that too many blacks don’t want a real remedy. It seems to me that racial division in America is worse today than it has ever been.

Consider how long it’s taken to rid our language of the ‘N’ word. Just hearing it makes me wince. Foxx’s new film uses the ‘N’ word more than a hundred times.

This sends a mixed message to people who are trying to figure out this race thing. If the word is so bad, why is anybody using it? Blacks calling each other ‘N’ this and ‘N’ that. It makes no sense to white people. In fact, it causes a greater racial divide. The word that comes to mind is hypocrisy and an underlying belief that many blacks aren’t interested in racial harmony.

When Drudge led with the ‘N’ word controversy, Alan Scherstuhl, writing for The Village Voice, wrote the following:

“Drudge ignores context and Tarantino’s artistic aims, of course. . . . Instead, Drudge just puts the very fact out it there, apparently hoping that it illustrates two weary complaints of white conservatives: 1. That liberals are at best hypocritical and at worst the real racists; 2. That if white conservatives have to watch what they say, than everyone else does, too. The assumption is that Tarantino’s film is, by math, 100 or so times worse than, say, the Fox Nation commenter who just spews it once.”

Whites are supposed to understand how blacks feel, but there is no consideration of how confused whites are with what seems to be a very blatant double standard.

How many times have we heard some liberal pop off about conservatives, using demeaning and pornographic language, only to be told, “Well, I didn’t really mean that. After all, I’m a comedian”?
Sure enough, when Foxx was interviewed about “Django Unchained” by Savannah Guthrie from NBC’s Today show about his comments he made while hosting Saturday Night Live, he said: “I’m a comedian. So, I mean, I’m not a — I don’t even know what to say.”

And what did Foxx say on Saturday Night Live? His character gets to “kill all the white people. How great is that?”

Personally, I think that’s funny. But I bet you that there are a lot of black kids out there who aren’t comedians who also think it’s funny, but in a different way.

Let me tell you what’s not funny. When somebody actually means it and nobody from the black community says a thing about it. Take, for example the comments of Harry Belafonte in his interview with Al Sharpton saying without pause or as a “comedian,” President Obama should rule like a third-world dictator, round up his GOP opposition, and put them behind bars.

“That there should be this lingering infestation of really corrupt people who sit trying to dismantle the wishes of the people, the mandate that has been given to Barack Obama, and I don’t know what more they want,” he said. “The only thing left for Barack Obama to do is to work like a third world dictator and just put all these guys in jail.”

“The wishes of the people”? More than 60 million voters opposed President Obama, and the House of Representatives remains in the hands of the opposition party. It’s the nature of our political system to have a divided government so we don’t get a dictatorship like Belafonte wants when his favorite dictator is in power.

http://politicaloutcast.com/2012/12/you-can-use-the-n-word-if-youre-artistic-and-a-comedian/#ixzz2FGU8iuV5